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October 02, 2006
The Return Road
Ten countries. Fifteen Haircolors. Twenty-five months. That's a snapshot overview of my life in Europe these last two years. I moved to Bratislava, Slovakia, mid July 2004. I return to the States early September 2006. I left Columbus County not knowing what I'd see, who'd I know and where I'd go. I will be back in the county seat in September with a life enriched by memories galore and relationships that are indelibly written on my heart.
I am not the same as I was.
It's not the short hair cut - when it used to be long - that makes me different. It's not the effects of a new-found love of European chocolate or all the sweet coffees I drank that tells the tale. It's not even the added two birthdays that brought me surely and securely into my mid thirties. Those differences are primarily external, and it's the internal gauges that read differently...my heart and soul that are not the same.
Living in Central Eastern Europe for the last two years and serving as a missionary journalist for Trans World Radio - an international ministry broadcasting in over 200 languages around the world - has been an excellent experience. It has given me the opportunity to travel, to think, to feel and to meet hundreds of new people. It has also been one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Being away from the familiar isn't easy. Missing your loved ones' birthdays is hard. Not sitting around the table with your family at Thanksgiving makes for poignant holidays. Yet, even on the lonliest days (and there were more than a few), I knew that I knew I was right where I needed to be. Right where God had called me. So, I counted my blessings and kept moving forward.
And the blessings were aplenty. I love people and I enjoy communicating. Note I did not say just "talking." Anyone who knows me or is around me for any length of time will quickly attest to my locquaciousness. I am a verbal processor, so I often think best when I can hear my thoughts and get responses to them from others. But when you're living internationally and travelling between borders, you're not always able to speak the language of those around you - unless you're a linguistic genius - which I cannot claim to be.
However, as I learned in college - communication is only 20% verbal - the rest is non-verbal. I am woman who's not shy about speaking or performing. So, I found that a smile followed by a sincere effort to use whatever few words I knew of a country's language...mixed in with a good deal of pantomime...usually succeeding in getting my question asked or my point across. Of course, I was frequently frustrated by my lack of ability not to extend beyond the superficial conversations of weather, directions, etc. Yet, I can also say that if I had enough time and would pay close attention, I could converse beyond the day's temperatures or how to get to the next place I was going.
Take for example, Don Zeman. A Catholic priest - who'd left Slovakia when it was still Communist and served in missions abroad - he and I met at the bus stop. He spoke Slovak, Czech, German, Italian and French. I spoke English and a smattering of Slovak. Yet, he came to my house and I visited his small priest quarters at my neighborhood's church on numerous occasions.
Don Zeman and I would sit together and visit, sometimes for hours - using a limited verbal vocabulary, but speaking a world of words from the heart. He was not the only one. Everywhere I went, I discovered anew that people are the same even while they're different. They have different ethnicities, religions and politics, but virtually everyone will eventually respond positively to be treated with love and respect.
Of course, this is not always the case. There are those who have so let hatred and bitterness build up in their souls that it has corroded their ability to see right from wrong...and they hold onto their resentment like it's a justified reason to despise those who are different. But look back into history and you'll see the same. Humans can be the most selfish and conniving doers of dastardly deeds...but they can also accomplish the most selfless and generous acts of kindness and care.
It's all about choice.
Do we choose to hold onto what hurt us, or do we allow God to let the light of His love soothe the wounds inflicted on us by others? The world has always been and will always be capable of inflicting damage deep into our minds and spirits. I've met people who can tell you the history of their homeland stretching back thousands of years and they can tell you all the wrongs committed to them going back dozens of decades. It's as if they wear their discontent like a badge of hurt feelings.
I've also met people who've been prodded and persecuted by those who are ignorant or evil. Yet, they've maintained a love in their hearts that couldn't be squelched by another's hatred or stupidity. We can choose which kind of person we'll be.
Like I've been blessed by doing - if you get to know people who are not like yourself externally - you may actually discover they're a lot like you on the inside. It's the internal that makes the difference. Ultimately, even if a people group is inwardly different than us - how else will we help stop the world's descent into the muck and mire if we never change the status quo?
One person can make a difference. Each one of us is capable of great love or great hate. It's a choice we make on a daily basis with those in our families, in our communities and in our world. I may have gotten to travel to ten countries in 25 months, but it is of no consequence if I choose to stay the same as I've always been.
Columbus County is one of the best places to be born and reared. I proudly spoke of the Southern hospitality in my home region and invited nearly everyone I met to come visit. I told them about BBQ and sweet potatoes, the Evergreen Swamp and a lake named Waccamaw. I shared with them how much I loved the people I grew up among: the folks who still smile at strangers and are known to give hugs to people they've just met. I handed out brochures about Whiteville and maps of Columbus County, and I beamed as I bragged.
Yes, I sang the praises of the place where I lived much of the first two decades of my life, and I spoke with passion about the gift I received by being born in the United States. My country is not perfect, but there is no other place I'd rather "be from." My homeland has great impact on the woman I am; it will continue to color what I do and to affect what is my worldview.
Yet, my heart is capable of making room for more, if I let it. And that is what has happened in these last two years. Like the grinch in Dr. Seuss' story - if love enters in - the heart will expand to fit the addition. The road from Columbus County to Slovakia goes both ways. Soon, I'll be returning from Europe to my childhood home. But children grow up, and home becomes more than just a place. For me, it's now an eclectic collection of all the experiences that have enriched me.
By society's standards, I may be quite poor. As of now, I own no car, no property and no retirement plan. But I continue to be one of the wealthiest people I know. I am so blessed with friends, family and a life that is overflowing with memories made and anticipation about the times to come. I don't know exactly where I'm going, though I have a good idea (living on the West Coast of the America and attending seminary is one strong possibility for the future). But if there's one thing I've come to realize most in these last twenty odd months - it's not to give God my agenda.
He loves me, as He does all of us. But He's in control; we aren't...though we might like to believe we are. We have free wills, so we're not puppets on a string. However, my own experiences continue to teach me that if I wait on Him, I'll find that life isn't wrought with as much angst and anguish. He always seems to know what's best for me, even when I feel like He's fallen asleep on the job.
So, I talk to Him on a daily basis, and it's Him who fills my mind with the comforting pictures of one home when I'm living in another. I am ever grateful for all that I have been exposed to. One chapter is closing, but I'm really excited to read the pages of the rest of my life.
Love and Hugs, Wallyce
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